Fox's Lost Dog!
by ShihaiTaka
Summary: OMFGWTF BBQ!1!1! It's an update! I'm the worst procrastinator in the world. (Chapter Two.) Yes, the symbols ARE odd. Shut up, it's SimpleText. Er...Fox, Falco and Zelda go to look for Fox's dog. Yes, dog.
1. Mr Flufferkins, Indeed

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Fox's Lost Dog

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Disclaimer: What is there to say? I don't own anything. Anything, y'hear!? But Mr. Flufferkins's name, a ball of lint, and me! No sue! No sue! Please??? [ begs ]

This story is completely and utterly SCREWED UP. Psycho Fox, mostly does it, but...

Heh. If you wanna flame, go ahead. I'll chuck em at Roy. 

...I have no clue where I got this idea...fills me with pity, it does. Well, almost. o_0

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The sun rose on another "normal" day in Tendo Land, on all the bright Disneyland-ish houses of the smashers. Yes, the smashers now have houses that are bright blue, yellow, and pink. With wooden flowers in the front. Dear lord, Master Hand is sadistic.

Our story starts in one of these houses, a hideous pink one, to be exact. The resident? Fox McCloud, the Lylat system's saviour...if you ignore Falco, Slippy, and Peppy. Not like those last two actually DID anything, but then...hell, I won't rant. Now...

Fox got up at approximately 11:00 AM, grinning insanely, which is not normal thing for a four foot ten fox to be doing. Skipping through his sickeningly cheerful house, Fox stopped at his kitchen. Reaching up, he grabbed out of a cabinet something called "Pigma's Perfect Puppy Chow." Fox upended the container, giving it a few hits with his gun when the grayish-greenish glob of dog food wouldn't go into a bowl. Skipping to his backyard, which was covered in bright wooden flowers, Fox grinned again while standing on his porch.

"Mr. Olly Wolly Cuddly-Wuddly Fuzzy Fluffy Flufferkins! It's time for your breakfast!!"

Fox waited for about three hours before he finally realized his dog wouldn't come. Smart dog.

Looking around his backyard, calling out his dog's name, Fox walked back and forth in front of the little gate about twenty times before he realized there was a hole underneath it, obviously because the poor dog had tried to escape. And that the gate was broken down by what seemed to be a hysterical, wolfish animal with a wooden flower.

"Nooo! Mr. Flufferkins!!!"

Fox vaulted his gate, running around screaming hysterically on the street.

Everyone ignored him, thinking he'd just hit his head too hard again, but after a while Zelda mistakenly went over to Fox, who was about to have a heart attack from all the running. Zelda peered at him dashing around for a bit.

"Fox, what are you doing?"

Fox grabbed Zelda by her shoulders and shook her back and forth.

"You have to help! SOMEONE KIDNAPPED MR. OLLY WOLLY CUDDLY-WUDDLY FUZZY FLUFFY FLUFFERKINS!!!"

"Who?"

Fox stared at her like she was an idiot. "My dog, of course!"

"...You have a dog!?"

"Yup, he's about yea high, gray, missing one eye so he has an eye patch, and he can talk! And he sounds like StarWolf! Isn't that cool!?"

Zelda just sorta...stared at Fox, who was grinning at her madly. She shook her head. Things were always weird. You couldn't help it, most of the time.

"Anyways, Zelda, could you help me find Mr. Flufferkins PLEASEEEEE???"

"I suppose."

"Yay!"

Fox hugged Zelda, which she didn't want him to do; who would want to be hugged by an insane anthropomorphic hysterical fox? Besides a fangirl, but that's different!

"Fox...get off of me."

"Sorry! Anyway, let's go find some other people to help me search for Mr. Flufferkins!!"

Grabbing Zelda by the wrist, he ran about three steps and knocked on the door of a yellow house. A sleepy-looking(even this late) Falco opened the door, saw it was Fox, and slammed the door shut. Fox knocked on the door again, and Falco opened it a second time. He was about to slam it again, when Fox dragged Zelda into Falco's house with him.

"Heya Falco!!"

"Hello...Fox...."

"Can you help me look for Mr. Flufferkins!?"

"Um ...non! J'ai des trucs á faire!"

Falco hurriedly shoved Fox and Zelda out, slammed the door, and was about to go back to bed when Fox knocked again. Sighing, Falco opened the door.

"...Yes...?"

"What'd you say?? Was it a yes??"

"No!"

"Aw, but..." Fox pouted, and looked like he was about to cry.

"Oh god no!"

"Puh-_lease!?_" Fox used the giant, chibi-version "sad-eyes" on his best friend. Falco covered his eyes with a tiny whimper.

"Fine, I'll help you look for your stupid...dog...?" _The hell?_ thought Falco. _I don't think I wanna know..._

"Yay!"

Fox hugged Falco, who just sorta....stared. Too. _Holy shit!_ Falco tried edging away out of Fox's hug, but couldn't move. So of course, Falco started turning blue from the lack of oxygen...or at least, bluer than before.

"Fox..."

"Let's go!"

Grabbing Falco and Zelda both by the wrists, he led them out into the street. Fox stood there for a while. A LONG while. Zelda and Falco both eventually moved to the sidewalk and fell asleep, as Fox continued standing. Poor Foxy forgot what he was doing.

After a few more hours of standing, Fox suddenly grinned and screamed.

"Let's go look for Mr. Flufferkins now!"

Fox happily skipped down the street fifty feet, then turned around, waving his arms like an idiot.

"Come on guys!!!"

Falco and Zelda looked at each other. Falco sighed and looked over to Fox, who was still waving his arms. The Avian wished he had his Arwing, to run Mr. McCloud over. Roadkill!

"Remind me why we agreed to this..."

Zelda frowned at Falco, putting her fists on her hips. "Aren't you going to help your best friend!?"

"Times like this, I'd say I have no best friend, instead of Fox."

"How dare you say that! About your own commander!"

"Well, then, maybe I quit team StarFox! I wasn't even in Adventures' all that much! NINTENDO CHEATED ME! I have more fangirls for a reason, y'know!" Falco sniffed quite pathetically, giving Zelda the sad eyes' look.

"Falco Lombardi! It is TIME to GO!" Seizing him by his spiky head feathers, Zelda half marched, half-dragged the poor Avian over to his senile commander. Fox grinned again and pranced down the road again, dragging Zelda, who was dragging Falco, who was digging his "hands" into the asphalt, trying to free himself from this unnecessary evil. Oy vey. It was gonna be a long day.

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Well, it WAS. Then again, tramping around following a fuzzy that has gone completely nuts and looking for his "pet dog" DOES make for a boring afternoon.

...

Pray to God that poor dog isn't found.

Night fell rather quickly, though it wasn't so surprising, as Fox HAD stood in the middle of the street for about three hours. Falco looked at his watch, then up at the sky and pouted.

"Maaaan! Adult swim is onnnn! Fo-o-ox! Can't we call it quiiiits?"

Fox blinked. "But Mr. Flufferkins is GONE!" Cue chibi-version sad-eyes. Falco gave Fox the look right back.

"Adult Swim!"

"Mr. Flufferkins!"

"ADULT SWIM!!"

"Mr. FLUFFERKINS!"

"How about both of you SHUT THE HELL UP?" screamed Link from his nearby window. The anthros immediately obeyed, though glared at each other.

"I still say we go home and watch Adult Swim," Falco muttered rebelliously.

"MR. FLUFFERKINS!!" shrieked Fox. "WE MUST FIND HIM _NOW!!!!_" Fox continued to wail and cry. Falco started screaming about how Adult Swim was soooooooo much better and that Fox was just being immature. Yeah, HE was one to talk.

Then silence settled in as a bomb exploded right in the middle of the two friends.

Zelda slapped her forehead with a sigh, giving the two charred and blackened fuzzies a Look. Not just a look, but a Look. You know the kind. Your mom used to--or still does--give it to you all the time. The princess grabbed Fox by the ear, Falco by his head feathers again, and dragged them off to her house for the night just to shut them both up about Adult Swim and Mr. Flufferkins.

There, they spent a nice, Adult Swim-free(with many swears from Falco) night, agreeing(well, mostly) to set out again in the morning.

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That's...it. o_0;; Review, if you want. [readies a penny-loafer]


	2. In Which We Get Nowhere!

*Fox's lost dog!* (Asterisks...)  
  
Yep. It's alive. Welcome to...  
  
CHAPTER TWO OF FOX'S LOST DOG!  
  
Written entirely with Simpletext. Uh-huh, I'm deprived.  
  
Disclaimer: ...I got a rock. Does that count?  
  
And, as you the "get-run-over-if-standing-in-the-street-for-extended-periods-of-time" thing... There are no cars in 'Tendo Land, save for Shigeru Miyamoto's. All hail, for he is your god. Unless he isn't.  
  
So, Chapter Two.  
  
Or... "In Which We Get Nowhere"  
  
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Another beautiful, darling sunrise over the strange pseudo-world of NINTENDO LAND. ©, ª, ¨, and all that other crap.  
  
Zelda woke up, and immediately wished she hadn't. Why? Because there were two psychotic anthropomorphic animals shrieking at each other about whether or not they should find a pet DOG. does NO ONE here see something ODD about that?  
  
In some valiant effort to get the two to SHUT UP, our "favourite" princess trudged downstairs. That DID stop them quite effectively. I mean, you try to not be scared when a sleep-deprived, make-upless princess with bed hair comes and glares at you, promising you bodily harm if you don't stop. Really. It's -unnerving.-   
  
And so, silence rose again over the world, and everyone lived another day.  
  
Now, we go back to day two of the hunt for Mr. Flufferkins. Though why exactly DOES Fox have a pet dog? Well, it's a mystery of nature. Kind of like how Inu-Yasha has those irresistable ears! Or Ilpalazzo has those snakey eyes! After "preparing"--which was really nothing but eating and screaming--the unlikely trio set out for another wasted day of searching. I say wasted, because, if that "dog" had half a brain, it'd be on MARS by about now. On Mars, hitch-hiking to Pluto. Then to Venom. Venom is just that spiffy.  
  
Well, today's beginnings of a search was rather similar to yesterday's, in that Fox has dragging everyone around like an idiot, while "everyone" tried not to kill him. That's when Fox had something that could only be described as a Super-Duper Extra Brilliant IDEA!!!ª, with a bag of chips. Said idea happened to be to recruit more people into his search. Yep, Wolf--or rather, Mr. Flufferkins--was hitchhiking to Pluto. But not really, 'cause that'd be a pain in the arse to write. The truth was, he was being held in a significantly nicer place than before, and it's not even the Humane Society!  
  
Well, back to Fox's idea. Of course, why not begin with who's closest? Off to Mewtwo's they went.  
  
About five minutes later, when all that is wrathful and pissed was raining upon them, Fox and company went to plan B. Which was go to the gay--er, Marth and Roy's place. Yeah. Them.  
  
To continue, and refrain from using the phrase "well" much more before I get stabbed to death with anything pointy nearby:  
  
Fox went over to aforementioned house, and used Falco to knock on it. Apparently, he didn't realize Falco was -there.- Which only means loads and loads of AFFECTION Falco had for Fox. Good thing they weren't in Arwings, or Fox would have a new best friend with the "mantle." So they waited for an answer.  
  
And waited.  
  
And waited.  
  
And waited, when Marth opened the door. Taking a quick look at a sleeping Fox, a nearly-bald Falco with a bruised head, and Zelda sitting there about ready to murder something, it's not surprising the door was quickly closed again. Unfortunately, the closing of the door woke up Fox. Mystified as to why exactly no one was home, he dragged his unfortunate friends off to another house.  
  
But let's see how STARWOLF is doing, shall we?  
  
In fact StarWolf, was, rather unchanged in the fact he still appeared as a dog with an eyepatch, et cetera et cetera. Where was he?  
  
In the beautiful kingdom of none other than...QUEEN JIGGLY THE MIGHTY AND ALL HER POKƒMON SUBORDINATES. Minus Mewtwo, who wasn't idiotic enough to get suckered into something like that.   
  
Well, Queen Jiggly the Mighty was treating him pretty DAMN well. Sure, he still had a ridiculous name (Snuffer Wuffers the Three Hundred and Fifty-Fourth, to be exact), but it wasn't so bad. At least he was fed actual FOOD, and was going to rule part of the world.  
  
Yes, life was SWEET. Actually, no. Life wasn't SWEET, it was SW33+. Oh boy. You heard it. sw33+.  
  
Back to our "heroes," and note that I use that term quite loosely--  
  
Well, recruiting was unsuccessful, so the group had reduced to daring each other to knock on Captain Falcon's door.  
  
"Fox, you go, it's your dog."  
  
"No! I had to try with Ganondorf! I say Zelda goes!"  
  
"...I'm staying out of this."  
  
"BUT IT'S FOR MR. OLLY WOLLY--"  
  
"Shut yer trap, Fox."  
  
"No, but Zelda, you should go."  
  
"Never."  
  
"Mr. Olly--"  
  
"Shut up, Fox."  
  
"Noo! I don't want to!!" After that, Fox proceeded with such a shrieking fit that both Zelda and Falco agreed to knock on Falcon's door, for two reasons. Those two were a) to get Fox to shut the HELL up, and to b) keep him from being today's pincushion. (Yesterday's was Ness, for the curious.)  
  
Skipping another five minutes, when all that is scary and pink pursued them, our trio found themselves hiding behind the Magicial And Great And Beautiful And Might And Pretty And Kawaii And Fluffy Kingdom Of Queen Jiggly The (adjective) (adjective) (adjective) (ad infinitum) That Uses The Word "And" Way Too Much.  
  
Cut back to StarWolf. You ever have one of those days, when, all is going great but you suddenly get that Ominous Feeling Of †ber-Doomª? I know you have. Don't deny it.  
  
At any rate, this is exactly what has happening to Mr. Flufferkins. Said Flufferkins decided The Kingdom With An Unneccesarily Long Name was NOT such a good place to stay anymore. Not at all. Or maybe it was just heartburn.  
  
Either way, StarWolf had to find a way to get to Pluto, and fast. How was the problem.  
  
Problem's solution: Samus's ship.  
  
Salvation, here I come. (Though he WILL most likely end up like Menchi.)  
  
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Yeah, I'm done. I wrote that because I was bored, damnit. And tired. As hell.  
  
Yes, OMFGWTFBBQ!!!1!1!one, it lives. ph33r it. 


End file.
